


Drunken Kisses

by DatPersonaUser



Series: Kiss Me [1]
Category: Fate/hollow ataraxia, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, Fate/stay night - All Media Types
Genre: Kissing, Lancer likes to rile Archer up, M/M, cross dress (kinda), idk what else, slight Cu Chulainn/Shirou Emiya
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-12
Updated: 2016-07-12
Packaged: 2018-07-23 14:16:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7466517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DatPersonaUser/pseuds/DatPersonaUser
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Archer knows that Shirou's not cool when he's drunk--but Shirou seems to be ignoring that fact, so when things got out of hand and Shirou is dressed in a cute wig, probably it's time to kick Lancer out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drunken Kisses

**Author's Note:**

> Got no beta so... you know...

“What are you doing here?” the harsh question—accusation—came from none other than Archer himself. He was looking at Shirou who was sitting on Rin’s couch and drinking tea while the house owner is nowhere to be found.

            “Welcome back,” Shirou replied with a casual tone. He doesn’t seem interested in him and to be honest, neither does he. “You still haven’t answered my question, Shirou Emiya,” he forcefully pushed his words from his throat. He doesn’t want to deal with Shirou’s attitude—even though it’s true that sometime he starts it first—and he really wanted a nap right now.

            “Rin is in her room, collecting her stuff. Ask her,” there was a hint of irritation in his voice. Archer walked away while guessing that Shirou himself doesn’t want to be here. _Must be because I’m here,_ he thought. _Poor kid._

            Archer found Rin arranging her luggage on the bed, “Oh. Hey, Archer,” she gave him a simple greeting as he leans on the door. “Mind telling me where are you going?” Rin eyed him curiously. He never really asked her where she is going. He’s never that interested.

            “It’s just a quick report to the association. 3 days at most.” The clicking sound of keys echoes and she put down the bag. “And that’s why he’s here?” Archer clicks his tongue and wrinkled his brow. “He doesn’t want to be here,” he added. Rin eyed him again and frown at him, “And so do you. Why are you here exactly?”

            “I’m here to have a nap. Don’t ask me why, I just feel like sleeping,” Rin bit her lips so she could hold her laughter. An arrow between her eyes is the last thing she wanted right now; this preparation itself has been such a drag and all she wanted right now is get on the plane and get some rest before her job in London drag her down the hallway.

            “OK. Works for me, since you’re here already might as well accompany Shirou. Don’t be too hard on him; he’s been a little grumpy after his small trip to Kotomine’s church.”

            With those parting words, she left the room, leaving Archer sighing.

            “Shirou, I’m leaving! Please take care of the house!”

            “Ok. Be careful, you!”

            “Archer—!”

            “Yeah yeah I get it.”

            He closed the door to Rin’s room almost at the same time as the main door’s closing. He walked to the living room while Shirou was brewing another tea. Shirou looked at Archer with straight face and asked, “Tea?” Archer nod and sat down on the couch. Shirou brought both cups to the table and settle it in front of them both.

            Archer muttered a small “Thanks” and drank it. It’s chamomile. “You over brew it,” he commented. Shirou made small creases on his forehead but didn’t shove him a retort to reply his comments. Archer didn’t say anything else as he slowly noticed the eye bags under Shirou’s eyes.

            “Didn’t sleep much?”  

            “Why do you care?”

            _Wow, this kid’s fucking rude._ Archer finally shut himself up, doesn’t want to piss they guy and ended up trying to kill each other. God knows what kind of trouble they gonna get in if they destroyed the house just because of some irritable attitude. After finishing his tea, he immediately stood up and after muttering a short “Thanks for the tea” and receiving a nod from Shirou, he left for his room on the first floor.

* * *

 

            Shirou never wanted to be housekeeper; but his house was empty—saber is staying with Fuji-nee in the Fujimura Group and Sakura went back to the Matou House with Rider—so he doesn’t really mind. But when Archer enters the room, God did he regret that decision. He doesn’t really have anything against Archer personally—

            Ok, never mind. He has A LOT of personal shit on Archer.

            Tohsaka already warned him that Archer might show up from time to time but she has doubts that he’ll show up today. Too bad that in fact he does and after the useless trip to the church to only be kicked out by Caren herself and being told that “being ignorant is not the same as rude, Emiya Shirou.”

            Who would want a life lesson from a little girl?! He can only sigh for the current time. He can always come back if he wanted to anyway. But first, he will have to clean this up.

* * *

 

The sound of the bell ringing on the front door wake Shirou up from his mental complaint and walk to the front door and opened the door. It’s almost 4 pm, who could possibly want something this late in the afternoon? He opened the door to reveal the ever smiling large man with blue hair. Lancer.

            Both men stared curiously at each other. Lancer because Shirou is there instead of Archer and Shirou because why the hell is this guy here?

            “’Ey Lad” Lancer started. Wide grin is plastered on his face.

            “Hey, Lancer,” Shirou simply answered with a forced small smile. Lancer puckered his lips before returning to his usual self and asked, “Red’s here?” Shirou assumed that ‘Red’ is Archer so he answered, “He’s napping in his room. Want me to wake him up?”

            “He’s sleeping?! Geez, that guy… Nah, don’t worry about it. I’ll just come back later. With you here, I’m guessing that Archer’s Master not here?”

            “Yep”

            “Then you gonna cook dinner too, right?”

            “I guess…”

            “Great. I’ll be back tonight and I’ll be sure to bring you some gift!”

            “Huh, tonight?! What! Lancer!” But Lancer already disappeared and Shirou has no reason to chase after him. The guy can do whatever he likes. When he went back inside to do some extra cleaning, he just remembered that some stuff in the Tohsaka manor is pretty much rotten other than the tea. He decided to bring some food from home if he’s going to make dinner for three.

* * *

 

            Shirou got back to the Tohsaka manor after 3 hours. He was chatting with Issei who came to his house for a short visit before going back and bringing some food. He pushed the door open to see that the hallway lights are off despite of Archer’s presence in the house.

            “Is he still asleep or is he just God damn lazy?” he mumbled before going to the kitchen. When he passed the living room, Archer was sitting there reading a news paper. His hair is not put up like he used to and he wore a pair of black glasses that compliments his white hair and tan skin. Handsome. “What, you’re back?” he put down his newspaper and sip something from the cup.

            “I promised Tohsaka and my house is pretty much empty. Ah, are you hungry?” Shirou put down the bag of food on the pantry floor before rummaging through the stuff. “You can always go back you know; anyway isn’t your house is always empty? I don’t really intend to leave tonight. No robber ever came anyway and yeah sure. You better make it good or I’ll just have to cook it myself.”

            Shirou nodded and replied, “True but I guess I’m already used with the noise and ruckus so when I’m alone it’s a bit lonely. I’ll just cook nikujaga, that’s alright, right?”

            “Nikujaga? Too simple. What? Are you lazy?”

            “Whatever. I’m cooking nikujaga, don’t complain. If you want you can cook your own food.” Shirou scoffs as he wore the nearby apron and started to cook. Archer went back to reading his newspaper and silent got inside the house.

            “Oh yeah. I just remembered.”

            “Hm?”

            “Lancer came by earlier; looking for you.”

            “What did you tell him?”

            “I told him that you’re still asleep. He said that he’ll be coming back tonight. So it seems like you got a plan. Does that involve drinking? You’re friends now huh?”

            “Oh God no, we’re not _friends_.” Archer massaged his temple before removing his glasses and massages the bridge of his nose. “That guy’s so persistent. I should have bury him in the church’s flower bed so he could stop bugging me, and yeah. It’s definitely involves drinking. I bet he also wanted to eat dinner here?”

            Shirou nodded and made an approving sound. Archer groans and head over to the bathroom, “I’m going to take a shower.”

            “Ok.”

            Shirou sighed as he stared at the nikujaga in process.

            “It is a bit too simple, isn’t it?”

* * *

 

            “Hahahahahahaha!” The sound of laughter sounded so loud from the usually so glum Tohsaka manor. Shirou was sitting on one of the guest room, reading while Lancer and Archer are sitting in the living room drinking some beer Lancer brought. Shirou doesn’t really like alcohol, it’s not like he can’t drink. But if he drank too much and he got drunk, things will get messy; and he doesn’t want that.

            Shirou sighed as Lancer’s laughter echoed again in the house. It’s the 5th time, already! Please! Give him a break! He pushed the door and yelled at the drunken giant, “Quiet down, will you?! Geez! It’s 10 pm for God’s sake!” the vein popped on his forehead doesn’t seem to affect the too-drunk-to-care-giant. Instead, Lancer put his beer in the air and shouted in amusement, “’Ey, Lad! C’mon! Stop being such a coward and let’s drink the night away!”

            Shirou glared at Archer, “Can you please shut him up?”

            Archer only gave him a small smirk, “We’re always like this. You’re free to go, of course.”

            “C’moooooon, Reeeeeedddd. Why not ask the lad to join ussssss?”

            “He can’t drink. Better not force him,” Archer replied calmly while drinking his beer. At this point, Shirou is no longer surprised of the tanned man’s knowledge. “Unless… You wanna prove it to us?” Archer put his beer in the air and received a happy cry from his blue-haired companion.

            Shirou felt challenged. He doesn’t like feeling like he’s losing so he sat down across of Lancer and took a can of beer, opening it and immediately swallowed the liquid hard. Sure enough, his head start spinning and a tinge of pink colored his face. “Ugh” Shirou groans; hating the sensation in his throat.

            Lancer laughs merrily, looking at Saber’s Master with his pitiful attempt to prove himself manly. Archer in the other hand frowns with a bit of worry color his face. Shirou is not so cool if he got drunk.

            “See! I’m fine with beers!” Shirou desperately voiced as Lancer threw 2 more can of beer to Shirou, “yare yare” let’s just see where this is going.

* * *

 

            After 1 hour and 3 cans of beer for Shirou, 15 for Lancer and 2 for himself, Archer find his two companions now completely drunk. They’re both laughing about something Gilgamesh found on the park.

            “’Ey! ‘Ey! I just remembered! I brought some gift for you, lad!” Lancer exclaims happily and Shirou gave him an excited grin, “Really? Cool!” Lancer reaches to a paper bag beside his seat and took out something. It has the color red, almost like Shirou’s hair. It’s a—

            “!!!!!” Archer’s eyes widen with shock.

            “A wig?” Shirou tilted his head with a confused look on his face, “Yeah! Cute, right? When I look at it, I immediately remember you, lad! Come here and put it on! I bet you’ll look-hic-cute!” Archer couldn’t take his eyes off from the wig. It’s a long wig with a ribbon on the back. _What kind of healthy person would think of a boy when seeing a wig?!_

Shirou—still drunk—looked at the wig and then start to blush. Lancer still grins from ear to ear while Archer was being attacked with unwanted mental image. “Eh? Eh? Whaddya say-hic-, Lad?” Shirou fiddled with his beer can, “Mmm… Maybe” and Archer immediately gulp his entire drink in shock. Lancer let out a winning grin and immediately drags Shirou to stand and went to his seat.

            Pulling Shirou to his lap—a simple action that made Archer’s blood kinda boil—he put the wig on his head. The matching hair color made no difference to his hair; though it does make him VERY VERY cute. The fact that Shirou relaxes himself on Lancer’s lap and not refuse doesn’t help one bit. He even let Lancer rest his arm on his waist with a shit-eating-grin on the bluenett’s face.

            “Ohohohoho. I know that it was my idea but I have no idea that you make such a beautiful Lass, Shirou~” Lancer smirks. Archer had a bad feeling but Shirou didn’t flinch. _He’s too drunk._ Archer thought.

            “It’s -hic- enough isn’t -hic- it!?” Shirou complains while limply punching Lancer’s chest. –Obviously—not hurting any of Lancer’s body and pride. Lancer captured the boy’s wrist and grasp it tight, “Let go… -hic-!”

            “Tck tck tck, Lad. Your power is the same as a Lassy when you’re drunk. Anyway…” Lancer glanced at the boy’s lips and lick his own, “I might want to taste this fake Lass’ lips~”

            “!!!!” Feeling alarmed, Archer quickly pull the red-haired boy away from Lancer’s grasp and pull Shirou to his chest, “Go home, Lancer.” His tone went cold as ice and his grip on Shirou’s waist tighten. His empty beer can is now left on the floor with fist mark around it.

            Lancer laughs merrily and moved beside Archer, “Fine. Fine. Thank me later~” he pulled Shirou’s hand toward him and kissed his knuckles while winking, “If Red treat you badly, don’t hesitate to come to me~” Archer swore he could see Shirou’s face turn redder. Vein pops on his forehead and he kicked the still-in-flirting-mode Lancer out of the window, “I said, go home!”

            “L-Lancer!” Archer looked at Shirou with a glare.

            “T-The heck –hic- is your –hic- problem?!”

            Archer quickly grab Shirou’s jaw, “Shut up, will ya” and captured the boy’s lips on his own. The kiss was demanding, rough, dominating. Shirou tried to wriggle from Archer’s grip. Kicking the air and punching his chest but it is damn obvious who’s stronger. After Archer finish trying to eat his lips, he pull away and Shirou, whose face had turned to such a red mess, pull on rugged breath and covering his lips who are now a little swollen, he scowls and yelled, “Why did you kiss me?!”

            Archer frowns and growls, “You prefer to be kissed by that idiot hobo rather than me?”

            His words startled Shirou. His eyes shifted and his blush darkens, “T-There’s no way” he mumbled shyly; clearly still drunk and too drunk to comprehend what just happened. Archer let out a sigh before pushing away the wig from Shirou’s head; mumbling, “This thing is in the way” and kissed him on the lips once more.

            This time a bit gentler and sensual; before he even know it, Shirou hand’s on Archer’s chest, gripping on his shirt. Finally getting the response he wanted, Archer tightens his hug on Shirou’s waist while the other hand was holding the boy’s head from behind, deepening their kiss.

            The sound of their kisses echoed throughout the room and heat came in the house. Archer slowly licked Shirou’s lower lip, begging for entrance. Shirou doesn’t know what to do and what is happening so he just open his lips awkwardly. Archer took the chance to enter his tongue and offer Shirou’s a dance. Shirou slowly and shyly accepts the dance as his tongue was licked sensually by Archer’s.

            Archer explores Shirou’s mouth like he’s investigating what’s in there. After awhile, he pulled away while a saliva thread was formed between them. Archer looked at Shirou and saw that the boy was already asleep. Bad sign.

            “I bet he’d remember nothing about this, the next day he woke up…” Archer sighs before lifting the boy in his arm and carries him to the guest room. As he set down his younger self on the bed, he smirked mischievously and lick his lips, “I’ll make sure you remember” he whispers sinisterly.

* * *

 

            The birds chirping and the sun from behind the curtain woke Shirou up. His head was spinning and there’s something buzzing on the back of his head. “Hangover?” he remembered a bit what happened last night. It was drinking with Archer and Lancer but after the Lancer took out the wig, that’s where he’s lost. He opened the door to the bathroom and look to the mirror.

“…”

            “There’s something… on my neck…” It was like a bruise but doesn’t hurt when touched. Shirou decided to let it slide before washing his face and going out from the room. He saw Archer sitting on the living room. His hair is already up like usual. “Good, you’re awake. I’m going out and it’s getting late.” Shirou looked at the clock. It shows 9 am. Wow.

            Archer made his way to Shirou before stopping, “Your breakfast’s in the pantry. Eat it. You can make your own tea, I assume?” he then continue his way to the door. Shirou nodded before he stopped Archer, “Hey Archer. You remember what we did yesterday?”

            Archer stopped and turns around; a sinister grin spreading on his face, “Yes. I do in fact remember everything.” Shirou gulped, he had a bit feeling about what he was about to ask but he ask anyway, “…uhh, do you know what these marks are?” he pointed at the marks around his neck.

            Archer chuckles and walk toward him. Instinctively, Shirou move back a few steps. Archer reached out and grab his arm, “You really don’t remember?” Shirou tried to struggle away from his grip, “N-no. Let go of me, Archer.”

            Archer shook his head with a light chuckle and then he lean down, “A-Archer—“

            Their lips met. It was only a light peck on his lips before Archer pulls away again and giving him a very mischievous grin, “Remember now?”

            “W-what?!”

           “Not yet? Very well…” he leaned down again but this time kissing Shirou in various places, his cheek, his ear, along his jaw line. Shirou groans and blushes darkly, “A-Archer!” Archer who is now hugging Shirou grins, “I will keep on kissing you until you remember~”

            Shirou wanted to protest, but his comment was shut by Archer’s mouth that immediately slips his tongue inside Shirou’s mouth, again, asking for a dance. Shirou grab Archer’s back, holding on him because his knees were shaking and he felt like he’s gonna fall. Archer generously held him up and continues kissing him.

            Shirou remembered. Last night he was kissed just like this. Archer kissed him and he couldn’t protest. When Archer finally pull away, he traces Shirou’s lips with his tongue and smirks, “Remember now, Shirou?”

            Shirou could only nod. Shyness and awkwardness took him away in a flash. Archer didn’t let him go because letting him go now might just make him fall so he carry him back to the living room and set him down on the couch. “I’ll be back around noon. Make lunch. I want sashimi. Ask Lancer if he got any,” and then he left after pecking Shirou on the lips.

            The sound of door closing echoes in the room and Shirou sighs.

            After this, he will never, ever, ever drink again.

**Author's Note:**

> Idk what I'm doing lol  
> Do tell me if you find typos or anything of the sort!


End file.
